How are you? Really.

This month, we’re taking a moment to reflect on how we really feel by drawing inspiration from the philosophy of Chinese medicine.

"How are you?" - This simple question, perhaps the most commonly asked, has often become an automatic response, just a polite formula. The reply that follows is just as automatic: "I’m fine, and you?", "Like a Monday", "It’s going." We hide behind these quick responses, as if taking the time to truly share how we feel isn’t an option. In this fast-paced world, we often fear confronting our emotions (yes, you know, those feelings that we humans sometimes struggle to manage).

But what if, for once, we took that moment? What if instead of settling for the formula, we actually listened to the answer? It’s surprising, but this could be one of the kindest gestures of the day. Sometimes, that small gesture can brighten someone’s day.

So, this month, are you ready to give new meaning to your "How are you?"

I'm doing alright, feeling a bit fuzzy at the moment, like in this picture - how about you?

5 QUESTIONS TO ALEJANDRA ☀️

I met Alejandra, a Chinese medicine therapist, last month. Right from the first session, her kind and calming energy really stood out. When she asked how I was, serving me tea and looking me straight in the eyes, I couldn’t help but burst into tears. After a long talk, a few tissues, and some acupuncture, I walked out feeling lighter and so much more at ease.

The interview, translated from Spanish, is a bit long but full of great insights. Check out more about Alejandra here.

In Chinese medicine, how is mental and emotional health approached?

We approach it by helping people understand why they’ve become ill and what the root cause is. Why have they disconnected from their own nature? We show them how and why their mental and emotional health became disconnected due to energy blockages.

We ask each person to start paying attention to their habits: how they wake up in the morning, what they do first, how they eat, and their bathroom habits. We encourage them to observe their urine and stools to see how their body is eliminating toxins.

We ask how much they sleep, whether they walk or exercise, and what and how they drink. Do they get daily sunlight or evening light? Do they walk barefoot on grass, sand, or soil?

We also explore their emotions by asking what they think about. We ask simple questions that help them realize they are often stuck in harmful thoughts and emotions.

One important point: we are disconnected from our breathing, which is keyin life. We breathe automatically, but when we start doing it consciously, we realize we're taking in wonderful, cleansing oxygen. Breathing with a gentle, loving smile helps eliminate toxins and regenerates our vital energy.

We teach them to reconnect with nature, through trees, animals, the universe, the sky, and the earth. This is what we aim to show them.

We help them understand why they became sick and what they’ve lost, and that’s where the healing begins!

When we ask "How are you?", the response is often automatic. How do you help your patients take time to really connect with their emotions and well-being?

During consultations, people realize they can live each day with inner well-being. We might feel sad or face a tough situation, but it does not mean we are sick. By connecting with their emotions through nature and feeling love in their hearts, they understand that simple daily habits can help them. It could be as easy as writing down what they feel to reconnect with their emotions.

When you ask your patients how they feel, do you use specific techniques to go beyond the surface and understand their true emotional state?

Yes, we use many techniques. Traditional Chinese medicine offers many wonderful practices, one of which is Qigong. These simple, slow, and energetic movements help balance emotions, release blocked energy, and reconnect with the energy of the sky and earth. With consistency, it helps people feel their true emotional state and start flowing with it.

What are the benefits of a mindful and compassionate conversation about overall well-being?

The benefits are immediate. People feel relief. They begin to understand what happened to them and why they disconnected. With small adjustments, they start feeling general well-being throughout their body.

What inspires you in life? 

If I had to pick one thing, though I could name many, it would be transmitting the essence of traditional Chinese medicine. Its concepts are so clear and easy to understand, and they helped me so much when I was going through a difficult time. Being able to pass that on and help others is incredibly inspiring to me.

Many things inspire me. Waking up in the morning knowing the day is a gift, feeling grateful - that inspires me a lot. I have so much to be thankful for, and each time I express gratitude, my heart fills with emotion. It inspires me to write, read, take care of myself, dream, and live fully.

The people around me inspire me. My cat and my son’s dog give me so much, asking for so little in return. My plants, water, daily meditation, Qigong practice..And my mother, who’s in heaven, guide me like a star. I’d love to be even 1% of what she was. She is a great inspiration to me.

Good music inspires me too. Listening to Ludovico Einaudi fills me with emotion. A good concert, a good book, or a great conversation. When I see patients who are so grateful in consultations, it inspires me to be a better person every day.

BITS AND BOBS TO GET INSPIRED THIS MONTH 🌈

• Let’s listen to this softness and take care of others

• 50 Ways to  fuel a conversation: discover this article.

• In Australia, they have established "R U OK? Day," an annual national day that encourages people to care for others by simply asking, "Are you OK?" to check on their mental well-being. You can find more resources here.

• October 10th is World Mental Health Day, an international day recognized by the WHO to raise awareness about mental health issues globally.

OLI-REFLECTION 💭

8 Ways to ask "How Are You?" for real

Whether at work, with loved ones, or even strangers:

1. Look your conversation partner in the eye and give them a smile. Body language communicates much more than words.

2. Show that you’re in a posture of attentive listening. Be curious and demonstrate genuine interest.

3. Use variations that encourage openness. For example: "How is your week going?" or "How are you feeling right now?"

4. Choose the right moment. Sometimes we’re in a hurry, or the other person is preoccupied. That’s okay. Suggest resuming the conversation at a more suitable time.

5. Show that you’re truly listening. Paraphrase their words to demonstrate that you’ve understood.

6. Express your enthusiasm and interest. Show that you’re engaged and that the person matters to you.

7. Establish a ritual. For example, take 15 minutes each week with your team to sincerely connect. This moment becomes a valuable appointment.

8. Use tools like the "mood elevator." This can help open discussions about emotions and mental states.

Happy October 💌

PS: Last week I received 2 beautiful emails from you - that made me soooo happy. Thank you for those little boosters.